What is the Duelist?
Briefly, it is a journal chronicling my magical practice.
This is a limiting designation, however. Sometimes the blog will contain entries that appear to have nothing to do with magic. Often something like an astral trip will appear like a piece of fiction or a short story. Anecdotes from my ‘mundane’ life may crop up occasionally.
Which begs the question: Why separate ‘magical life’ from ‘mundane life’ at all? Where is the boundary? Doesn’t it exist only in the mind that perceives it, an arbitrary line that divides something that is ultimately contiguous, unbroken?
What is the Duelist?
so busy dividing the world into black and white they miss all the color. The trick to life is finding the middle path, balancing and harmonising. be to busy giving love to take any of the worlds woes.
This is odd, I am Demian, and much of what you write tells me that we have much in common and perhaps a diologe would prove interesting
Your article of “Nothing is true; Everything is permitted” was amazing. Really makes you think about how things work, or how they don’t.
Thank you very much! I’m especially proud of that post. I’ll probably reproduce it in a new, more public magical blog (using my own domain) soon. I’ve decided that it’s time to stop hiding in the shadows. I’ll post the link on this blog soon, I hope you follow me there
Hi.
Just stumbled over your article “Nothing is true; Everything is permitted” and wanted to tell you this:
YOU ARE PATHETIC
Who do you think you are? You think you are special dont you? Let me tell you something: you’re not.
You think you have solved the big riddle that is our lifes. You think you are enlighted, freed from the bondages of science, causality and, most importantly, your own fucking life.
But if it is true, if everything is possible, everything permitted, why don’t you write this article into the sky or burn it into rock? Why dont you just escape? Why dont you just make everything the way you want it? Why do you still live your life, earning money, eating, sleeping, breathing?
Because you know. Deep inside you know that you’re not special. You know that everything is just the way it is and not any different. Things might not always be the way they seem but they ARE THE WAY THE ARE. Of course sience is not always right. In fact it might even be wrong in every essential way but at least it looks at the world the way it is, not trying to make it more or less. You however, you can’t live with the idea that you’re just a tiny little beeing in a vast incredible big universe that you dont even begin to understand. You refuse to except the fact that you were born in this world and you will die in this world and that there is nothing else.
Thats why you pick up catchy phrases and start putting your rebell thoughts into fancy words not realizing that even those thoughts that you think are pure and bright were put into your head just like everything else you know.
But of course i can not proof my point. As a matter of fact i dont need to. The proof is all around you. The feather that wont move. The spoon you cant bend. The girl you’ll never get. There is no magic, demian.
Disproof me.
*shakes head*
I’m sorry you think that way. But I can’t prove my point the same way you can’t prove yours, except with the same “it’s obvious all around you and you’re blind if you can’t see” fallacy you used.
I hope your deterministic, clockwork, certain universe brings you as much bliss as my messed up, delusional universe brings me.
Maybe we’ll see eye to eye someday. Until then, you take care of yourself.
Oh, and I mean this sincerely: thank you for saying those things. You vocalized a part of me that is there but likes to believe he knows how the universe works. Now that I know what he sounds like, we can discuss the matter between ourselves, trade slogans like “Certainty is the death of intelligence” and “God does not play dice with the universe.”
Oh, but you CAN proof your point. Just do it. Make those chains burst. Show me what you are capable of. If you can truly do what ever you want then show me. Do some magic instead of just talking about it.
But i think you are not even trying because you are so skared of the fact that it might just not work. And i’m not talking about meditation. Hiding away in some cosy warm place of your mind is NOT magic.
You know, instead of trying to see something that is not there why dont you just except the world the way it is? Just because it prevents you from floating around or looking into other peoples heads it doesnt mean that your are meaningless, that its not possible to change something using the possibilitys nature has given you. And if you would just stop dreaming and start realizing that you might even make a difference.
You see, “my” universe beeing deterministic and predefined doesnt make it certain. You can never fully understand, never know what’ll be next. So in fact it’s a lot more messed up than you might realize.
And one more thing:
don’t you see?
Actually, Old Man of the Mountain, I have been proving to myself that magic works. And I’m not talking about meditation either, although meditation is for liberation, not escape. (Try it.) And I have been making a difference, at least to myself and the people around me. But I couldn’t have done it if I didn’t tinker with my paradigms, my chains, directly.
I don’t shoot lighting bolts out of my fingertips. I don’t throw fireballs. I don’t spend my days tucked into some ‘astral realm’ I cooked up in my head instead of interacting with the world.
I breathe. I eat. I sleep. You’re right. I have a body. It would be stupid to ignore its well-being. There’s no escaping the Black Iron Prison of physical existence.
But the conditions of that imprisonment, and the process of changing those conditions, sometimes radically, perhaps not in the ways that violate the ‘immutable natural laws’, but change nonetheless, that’s magic.
You’ll realize someday that I’ve already proven it to you.
And to myself, now that you mention it.
So now i know what you can’t do, why don’t you tell me what you can? Stop juggling with words and give me an example.
So now i know what you can’t. Tell me what you can! Stop juggling with words and give me an example.
So you’re saying that NOT everything is possible.
Well, now i know what you can’t do. Why don’t you tell me what you can? Stop juggling with words and give me an example.
why can’t i write any more comments
So all that talk about how everything is permitted didn’t mean anything did it. However, now that i know what you can’t do, tell me what you can. Honestly, i want to know what makes you believe so strongly that there is something … more. What did you do? What did you see? Tell me about your … magic.
From the way I’m seeing things Naimed you expect Demian to do something just to prove to you that his workings are authentic and accurate. Alas no such proof can be given, for those who believe no proof is necessary, while for those who don’t believe no proof can be valid enough to dispel your doubt. Now kindly refrain from flaming, you can make your point without having to insult anyone..
Before you go and say that the followers of these practices are deluded and Pathetic why not try and take the time to understand what we do first. Maybe then you can see the magick that we talk about until then you can’t blame us for not seeing the world that exists behind the veil.
So its all about faith is it?
Then try to make be believe.
You know, maybe i’m not as narrow-minded as you think. As i said before: things are not always the way the seem.
I honestly want to understand you or else i wouldnt even be having this conversation.
So tell me: What do you do? How do you do it? You’ve never even droped a single word about that.
I’m curios. Enlighten me!
The truth is: i’m trying. I’m trying all the time. Sometimes i watch a crowd of people or a swarm of birds or just the clouds moving in the sky and i can actually fell the strings attached to them. But no matter how hard i try, it doesnt work. Everything just keeps moving, things go its course and i can’t influence a thing. I am merely a spectator or - whats even worse - a part of all this mess, living and dreaming and dying in the flow of it, not able to step out, to leave it all behind. I’m part of an illusion that i do understand but can not defy and im really really sick of it…
Rather Nihilistic way of looking at things don’t you agree Naimed? I do hope you come to your personal truths soon. ill be praying for that day
Don’t try to change the flight of birds, or disperse the clouds. Don’t try to bend the spoon. At least, not yet.
You need to realize something first, although this sounds clever and hip and postmodern. You need to understand — there are no birds, or clouds. There is no spoon.
That’s where the magic starts.
I know what you’re trying to say. If i want to do something extraordinary to my surroundings i have to do it to myself. Everything that exists exists only in my imagination thus if i want to alter reallity i have to change its picture in my head. I have to change myself.
But if that is true then i have failed allready. Because the only way to do what you call magic is an easy one. I cant bend a spoon because trying to bend it implies it to be solid. Trying to change the flight of the birds is to assume that they dont fly by my demand allready. Trying to do something extraordinary is to think that it is in fact extraordinary and that exactly is what makes it so hard if not impossible. And it is why i dont believe you. You say that the sword is the extension of the will, that magic requires discipline and faith. But if it is possible to do what shouldnt be possible then it must be like breathing. The harder you try, the more you focus the more you are bound to fail.
You are smart demian i give you that. You have unlocked a part of youre mind that only a few people even know the existence of. But what you dont see is that you only have penetrated one layer of the truth.
Doesnt the denial of the spoons existence proof that i does in fact exist?
Dont you see?
You’ve asked me that question twice now, Naimed: Don’t you see?
What don’t I see? If I’m so smart that I’ve gotten one layer of truth, what is the layer of truth that you see that I don’t that is an even more exalted layer of truth than the truth that I DO see?
I do see, Naimed. But it isn’t my physical eyes that do the seeing, any more than it’s your physical eyes that do your seeing. The spoon isn’t ‘out there’ for your eyes to be seen.
They’re in here, where these words echo with noiseless sound, where this arrangement of pixels is imbued with meaning and structure, in here where all spoons exist.
Don’t you see?
There is always a truth that is beyond what we understand. But this other set of ideas doesnt have to be more exalted. It might just be very plain and simple. The greatest Zen Master, the wisest Philosopher, the most pious priest might just have a single thought while he’s taking a dump, one that creates and idea that can overturn his entire structure of believe, knowlegde and wisdom. Like: “If god is allmighty, can he create a rock that even he cant lift?”
But I’m drifting away from the topic. I have to say demian that i’m starting to get bored. The reason why i wrote a comment in the first place was because a lot of what you wrote actually made sence and i figured that maybe i could learn something from you. But you decided to keep on writing cryptic words, statements that can mean everything and nothing. So if you dont want to tell me anything about your magic practices at least give me the name of a book or a website. Something that you consider authentic so i can determin whether you are just a nut or if there might just be a jot of truth in what you’re saying, that one can in fact do extraordinary things. That there is such a thing as … magic.
I’d recommend Robert Anton Wilson’s Cosmic Trigger, except that’s just more stuff to put in your head to convince yourself that magic exists or aliens are contacting us telepathically or there really is an Illuminati. I can’t convince you, Naimed, and I’m not responsible for the alleviation of your boredom.
In fact, because you said that, and because you called me pathetic with your first comment, I don’t actually believe that you want to know the truth. You just want everyone to see that you’re right, and you’re an expert at being right.
Don’t you see?
Hm. It kind of suprises me that this discussion is going into that direction. I didnt expect you to recommend something from Mr. Wilson. The fact that you are a reader of such literature would make me think that you were a little more … flexible concerning your opinion about me.
But now that we’re moving into an interesting direction it seems that we are stuck. I dont think that we can continue this conversation unless you open up a little.
I thought that you would figure out much sooner that this is not about who is right. I never wanted you to convince me of something, i can do that on my own. Im just curios.
Greetings from Bavaria…
Crap. You mean you’ve been intentionally insulting me and been acting obnoxious to see how defensive I would be about my own paradigm? Color me embarrassed.
Basically, I’ve been trying to say my own clumsy way that the article is about me believing the science party line for too long, and that magic works mostly because I’ve somehow slipped into a worldview that allows it to work. I thought that you were a objective materialist trying to tell me I didn’t have the right to my own catmas, and I couldn’t even see the alternative — that you were snapping ME out of my own rigid world view. So this is me, contrite and sheepish.
Truce?
If i wouldnt consider it out of your style, i’d think that you are beeing sarcastic. But anyway, you kind of figured me out.
Except for one detail. I didnt try to snapp you out of your catma. There is nothing wrong with the way you see things. You just dont see far enough. Or clear enough.
Lets just say that there is an abyss in front of you and unlike most people you actually had the courage to take a peek.
But you know that there is something left to do.
The leap.
Well, I used to be sarcastic all the time, mostly because it’s less scary than being open and vulnerable. But I’m not sarcastic now, and you got me pegged, all right. I’m afraid of the leap.
To use an interesting metaphor I think I read from Antero Alli, to the Abyss the Master brought his two disciples, equal in skill and power, and there he told them about White and Black Magicians. He then told them to jump down the seemingly-bottomless abyss.
One disciple, with no hesitation, backed up a little bit, and then took a running leap off the edge. The other one peered down cautiously, and then asked his master, what’s the difference between a White and a Black Magician?
His master replied, ‘The White Magician jumped down.’
The second disciple is like me. I wish it weren’t the case. I wish I were braver. It’s hard for me to admit that I’m afraid of the leap.
But you’re right. I don’t see far or clear enough to trust the jump, to take the leap of faith. And I wish I did, or that I was brave enough not to have to see it all the way to the end before committing to the leap. You got me.
Its is a nice Metaphor but, in this case, absolutely pointless. I told you that this is not about right or wrong. Well, its also not about black or white, good or evil, brave or sheepish. Dualism is something our (human) mind likes to rely on because its an easy way of separating things, keeping a nice clean cut between two seemingly opposite sides.
Instead of worrying about your state of mind you must realize that this is all about perspective.
Instead of trying to sepatarate things you must bring them together.
Moving forward might imply moving back.
To ascend you might need to hit the bottom.
If you want to take control you need to let go.
It is all the same thing. We are all the same fucker.
All we need to do is wake up and realize it.
I know. I forgot. I’m sorry.